yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
