You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
