You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
