Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Congratulations! We have a period
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
