i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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