she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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