Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
