So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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