a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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