I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
