I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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