No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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