You don't have asthma, your pregnant
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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