Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
