would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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