I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
