Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
