Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
