Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
