But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
