you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
