My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
