he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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