Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
