Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
