Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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