I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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