don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
