:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
