She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
