FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
