I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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