I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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