His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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