There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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