Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
