Taylor Swift is so right about you.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Small penises have feelings too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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