Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
