the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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