we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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