you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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