If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can you bring me the toilet please
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
