I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Randomize
