i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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