How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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