You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think people are normalizing furries
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
