i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
