i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
