Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
