mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I will pee on everything he values.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
