in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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