you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
