I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
