I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
