I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
A+ Viking dick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
